Comebacks to Popular Ginger Jokes
Q: Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick?
A: At least a brick gets laid.
How to react: hit them with a brick
Q: How many Ginger people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to sit in the dark.
How to react: Look at them like they are the dumbest thing since Lindsay Lohan dyed her hair blonde and aggressively point out that “Thomas Edison was a ginger, you would know that if you weren't so busy thinking of crappy jokes and spending more time fixing the light bulb that broke in your head a long time ago.” It's a lie, Thomas Edison was not a ginger, but the chances of them knowing that on the spot are slim. By the time they go home and research this, you can defriend them on Facebook.
Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?
A: Grey Hair
How to react: Redheads don't actually turn grey in their older days. If we survive the torments of our youth, and the silent hidings of our middays, then we are not blessed with a straight path to white. First we turn an off-sandy color that barely hides the shame we've came from. We get no relief. Don't say anything and fight back the tears you want to cry with a forced chuckle.
Q: Why do redheads take the pill?
A: Wishful thinking.
How to react: Ok this might be tough, but hold your tongue for now. If they are white, black, or Latino and happen to be uneducated, the chances are that they will have an unwanted child within the near future. In this scenario, you can then take your sweet, long sought after vengeance and mail them pictures of baby gingers, with a nice little note saying "because we're not idiots, like you."
If they are not the types to have a child anytime soon, just make a mental note back in your Database of Hatred and whenever the pregnant D-day arrives, still send them pictures of baby gingers with a note saying "This could happen to yours."
The utter creepiness of these actions will make them think you are some psycho serial killer that they shouldn’t have pissed off. They will then fear for their lives and that of their newborn's. They would wish that they never said the joke in the first place. The last laugh is yours.
Disclaimer: you might also get a restraining order against you and banned from going within a quarter mile of a school as a consequence.
Q: What do gingers miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.
How to react: No comeback. It is true. You might want to consider getting new friends at this point—or hitting them with a brick.
Q: What's worse than Eric Cartman making fun of Gingers on November 9th, 2005 in Season 9 Episode 11: Ginger Kids?
A: Being a Ginger Kid and having to go to school on November 10th, 2005.
How to react: You probably answered this question for them. Begin to tell them of some of the atrocities that this speech-impeded nuclear bomb to the Iwo Jima of your social life created, and maybe they will have sympathy for you. Don't kid yourself: they won't have any sympathy, but they may laugh. And we all know that through laughter is the only way a ginger can be tolerated in a group of non-gingers.
Q: What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal
How to react: You have two options here.
1) do another forced chuckle and say "it's true, it's true. Us gingers and our damn tempers, lol."
2) Kindly show them that the attitudes of a ginger are not something to be joked about as you start chanting some gibberish on the spot while rolling your eyes back. The chances are that they believe you are actually Hell-spawn are slim, but the chances that some Ginger ever tried to put a curse on them before are even slimmer.
They will probably be scared of you and never attempt mocking you again; but more than likely, they will just be creeped out and never attempt mocking you again. Either way, they will most plausibly leave you the hell alone.
Or …
3) Beat them bloody with your bookpack. And laugh. Then run away to the safety of the corner in your closet. Faster. Cops are on the way.
Q: Why is it called the Virgin Islands?
A: Only Gingers live there!
How to react: see response below
Q: Why did God invent color blindness?
A: So someone will fancy the ginger kids.
How to react: Seriously, you need to find new friends.