Facts About Ginger Death
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Hello men
and women of Gingerdom. This isn't the typical "how to survive if this
random shit happens to you" article you may be used to. Imagine this as a
commercial. More specifically one of
those commercials you see about some random medication. You watch for long
enough and you see its canon of side effects whizzing by, and you think to
yourself, “This list seems longer than all six introductions of Star Wars.” But
you forgot the Family Guy ones, didn't you?
...so nine. Now imagine if you have been prescribed said medication six times a day for the past three years. "Oh crap," you think. Then the commercial went on to say, "Call now so we can sue the hell out of those responsible. We will keep most of the money ourselves but you can have enough to live like a slumdog-millionaire-rock-star for the remainder of what little time of your crappy life you have left." Now this is the point where you get really, really excited. This article is kinda about said excitement. But don't get too far ahead of yourself, Ginger. The commercial that is your life has no lawyers pillaging the pharmaceutical industry for you. No, I'm afraid this commercial ends after the side-effects scene, and after receiving the knowledge that you will be having a slow and painful death, relatively soon. This article is about the opposite of said excitement. This article is to help you realize you will die… <insert "Duhn duhn duhhhhhhn"> …very, very soon. Next Page Page 1 2 3 |