Facts About Ginger Death
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Well not perfect health per say. They still suck at everything athletic. They will always have the brain power of kids three years younger. They will also be so clumsy that the chance of them falling off a cliff to their doom is a staggering 24%. Overdosing from skin cancer is a whopping 42%. Being beaten to a bloody, pulpy death by a flash mob is 14%. Being beaten to a bloody, pulpy death by more of an organized sort of mob is 15%. Drowning in a pool because we don't swim well and were thrown into the deep-end by our Ginger-loathing swim instructors...I would say 9%. Unexplainable self-explosions from excess rage in Ginger Rage meter is >1% (only a handful of known instances throughout Ginger history). Choking on popcorn at the movie theater and nobody trying to help you for fear of having to touch your overly-oily complexion ranks in at a lowly 4%.
If none of the above happens to you, then you have two other options.
So with the only short but eventful life we are all cursed with, I want to remind you to live a life worth living. Get outside (with copious amounts of sunblock, of course), make friends (the less they make fun of you the better), and never forget to smile (creepier the better to keep strangers at bay). Think about this. Cherish it. Live fast, die soon. Stay young Gingers. First Page Page 1 2 3 |