Types and Classifications of Gingers
_ North American Ginger
The North American Ginger is usually found in the United States of America, Canada, Mexico, and Mother Russia. Gingervitis is not the only disease this Ginger faction is plagued with. God also gave them problems with being fat, diabetes, unintelligence, inability to adept to unplanned changes, impotence, excessive lying, and frequent and violent Ginger Rage. They are a foul bunch of blood-suckers with little to expect and little to hope for. Darwin once stated "Screw Gingers". Even the Father of Evolution wouldn't give them hope for survival. Example of North American Ginger in modern culture: "Gingers Do Have Souls" YouTube guy. Half-breeds / Dhampirs: Those with auburn hair, or with one normal parent and one ginger parent. This is rare, as most normal folk are repulsed by the ginger's appearance. In most cases where breeding does takes place, it is due to normal folk being hypnotized by the firecrotch. Also known as "Carriers." Example of Half-breeds/Dhampirs in modern culture: think of half-blood wizards in Harry Potter. Gingers-In-Denial Easily inferred from the title, these are Reds who dye their hair to hide who they truly are. This category of Gingers are one of the most dangerous for two reasons: they are able to (half-ass) blend into normal society and they have forsaken their Ginger ancestors, and we all know, if someone is able to do that, they are also able to shoot up a strip mall and sell cocaine to fifth graders. Example of Gingers-In-Denial in modern culture: Michael Jackson European Ginger A very infamous and cunning type of ginger. They have somehow assimilated into the culture of the normal folk, and are hardly noticed or made fun of on a regular basis. They are the closest of the Ginger Factions to be considered "normal" humans. Whether this is due to brainwashing or metal baseball bats is, at this time, unknown. Sidenote: These Gingers are have a quasi-timid hair tone and/or don't speak too much in social gatherings: these help in successfully easing their pathway to acceptance. It is believed if North American Gingers would travel to the UK, their loud mouths and over-weight, greasy appearances would surely grant them a first-class ticket to being an outcast. Example of European Ginger in modern culture: Rupert Grint <3 Day Walkers As their name implies, Day Walkers are Gingers that have mutated skin that is able to handle direct sunlight. Apart from their non-aversion to sunlight, Day Walkers are reported to still be very dangerous: the extra pigment in their skin does not make up for the lack of a soul in their chest cavity. Day Walkers are basically vampires crossed with zombies crossed with Michael Moore. Example of Day Walker in modern culture: Samwise Gamgee Raisins A red asian, or raisin headed asian, is a person of asian ethnicity that decides they want to do what 98% of their fellow asians do and dye their hair in a lame attempt to be more white and therefore cool, not knowing the only cool people are Black people. They then dunk their head in peroxide only to find out they have unwittingly offered up their soul to the seven ginger overlords. Such disastrous results are wildly popular amongst the japanese (only God knows why), however, in doing so they naturally develop +2 sexual charisma and +1 heavy melee damage absorption. Example of Raisin in modern culture: Be real, I could put any name here and you wouldn't have a clue who I'm talking about. Rangas A redheaded individual from "down under"--I'm talking about Australia, not Hell. Never mind. I am talking about both. Pun...intended. Example of Ranga in modern culture: Crocodile Dundee (you have to squint to see it) |
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