Fellowship of Freckles
page 3
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Step 7. Pick up your black friend. Now this isn't a "Bloods-like-red-and-you're-a-red-hairded-person" joke, but in my extensive research on the topic of Ginger discrimination, the black demographic are far more courteous to our disadvantage and do not find much pleasure in extorting it: this either stems from their own race's history with appearance-based bigotry or the fact that they have a life and don't watch South Park. After you pick up your black friend (I only refrain from saying "the bigger the better" to stop any puns from distracting you from the message of this article), you now hold the fearful advantage of a prudent offence: white people are far less willing to fight a black person for obvious fear that he has hundreds of cousins nearby who all can fight better than skinny ex-plantation owning white boys. Proceed to step 8. _
Step 8.
Pick up your Asian friend. Now there are two reasons for this tactical maneuver. 1. For some reason, I would feel really guilty punching an Asian. I hold that truth to be self-evident and universal throughout mankind. 2. As far as the savages know, he might be a master at karate or something (he probably isn't if he knows you). Combined, these two give you added attributes to your defense meter and allow for safe voyage to just about anywhere. _
Digressing:
Alas, now I must digress. As the popular Harry Potter joke puts oh so poetically "Harry Potter can't be real. Have you ever seen a ginger with two friends before?" With this being said, and being oh so true, you are kidding yourself in hopes of finding a black and Asian accomplice. I will thusly strike the previous step 7 and 8 and create a more realistic scenario. |