Fellowship of Freckles
page 4
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Step 7. Pick up all your ginger friends. I mean all of them. Everyone already knows that we have a secret cult fraternity that meets once a week in one of our grandma's basement to discuss the recent torments and play Dungeons and Dragons, while watching Revenge of the Nerds parts I-VII. This is your fellowship: a fellowship I like to call "Fellowship of the Freckles." This is where the "power with numbers" comes into play. Alone you are nothing but a vulnerable target, doomed for stompings. Together you are strong and oddly creepy. _
Once you
have gathered your spicy red-hairded posse, the sheer amount of freckles would
make any foe think twice about any sort of assault.
Not really. Continue to step 8. Step 8. Since we have zero fighting ability and our faces were bred to be punching bags for Air Force 1's, we have to use the only gift the Fiery God of All Things Crappy gave us: the mind of a cunning-ass determined flame-on fox. We must arm ourselves. This is the part when you must use that medieval logical brain of yours. The decision for your weapon shouldn't be based on functionality or reload speed. Think more along the lines of originality, shock-factor, and uncertainty. The more unsure and unprepared the Ginger-haters are of your weapon, the greater the chances are that they won't give you an opportunity to use it on them. |